Random Note #1

WARNING. DEPRESSING MATERIAL.

Haha, no really. I warned you...

Christmas Time. AKA "happy time."
So why aren't I? Really? I am so depressed, no one could ever possibly understand. No one. Today we made sugarcookies-actually decorated them. Me and my dad. Just us. He made a 'joke' that was just hilarious to HIM. This was it...

So when I was making these cookies it scared me so bad, when I looked at my hand, my wedding ring was gone!

Oh, haha. Sooo funny. I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but it did. Like a lot. And the past two days we haven't had school because of snow. So this gives me memories of past snow days when we'd all, my WHOLE family, crowd together around the fire and drink hot cocoa and watch TV together. I miss my whole happy family, more than I have ever missed everything in my whole life put together. Why did they stop loving each other? Why couldn't they have stayed in counseling? Why after all those years they just quit? Who knows. No one will ever get up the guts to ask them these questions. I probably don't actually want to know these things anyway. Oh, and my dad was like 'so you have a boyfriend yet? Or still single?' and I was like 'still single.' and he said 'me too. It's not fun. Notttt fun.' I was just like. Sorry, you don't have to rub it in that you and mother are divorced and I already feel like it's my fault enough. But yeah, thanks pops. I looked up to them as a couple. I...yeah. I am now doomed to a life of depression and morbin thoughts. My brothers are totally fine. Yet this whole thing is absolutely killing me. Like it's really death in a pretty little box. Without the 'in a pretty little box' part. A while ago my mom started a blog that my dad made her change to private because she always bashed him. But one day I went on the computer and there was a window open talking about how they're splitting things and how my dad told my mom she's getting nothing...why didn't I take the hint??

'CAUSE I'M STUPID.

THAT'S WHY.

DUH.

Mkay, I'm leaving now.

Bye

Melanie

P.S. I wrote this Friday December 19th in my notebook.