My First Post Since...

My grandma passed away. I love you grandma. It's still surreal to me that you're gone, and it's been exactly...two weeks. I miss you so much. More than anything.
Now I'm starting to cry.
See, I do have other emotions besides RAWR. Hum, I know I already expressed how much I appreciate all of my friends in the past few weeks. But I wanted to reiterate how much you guys have helped.
Through my parents' divorce, that was my lowest low. Ever. Nothing can bring me lower. You were all there for me every second.
Through my bedstefader Christensen dying, you were still there for me. I was losing my only connection to Denmark, and you kept me from falling again. Which is especially amazing because this was the same time my puppy died (Sage) (Love you farfar and sagey. I miss you both so much. SO much. Bedstefader, I miss you teaching me Danish, and you totally just ranting in Dansk and me only getting like three words out of it all. I miss that. Jeg elske du, very very very VERY much. Sagey, I miss your hype. I know it was incredibly annoying when you were here, and I'm so sorry I got annoyed now. I feel so guilty, and you were only a puppy. I love you sagemeyer. You left much too soon.)
And now through my grandma dying. The one I was extremely close to. SO close to. I'd try to explain the funeral to you, I just can't. I can't think of my grandma...like that, let alone talk about it. God, damn you tears! Stay the HELL INSIDE MAH BODEH. Ugh...the world really did, though, lose an amazing woman. I'm not sure if I explained her sickness to you guys in here, but a couple years ago she was diagnosed with Melanoma (I know it kinda sounds like my name haha), the deadliest form of skin cancer. Then, it was just on her hand. But after time it spread to her lungs, then to her bones. Eventually she barely had any bones in her hips and shoulders. One night, my dad calls me at 11 and told me she can't see. So I grab my little brother, and rush to her house, and she could barely make out who we were, but that subsided. After that, she was just on bedrest. It took her actually a few months to...pass away.
Wow. She's gone.
See it's still...so strange. While she was still here, on bedrest, I'd be by her bedside all the time. I did not ever want to leave her side. I'd wet her lips, give her drops of drink, monitor her breathing...and the past few days my grandpa would hold my hand and give me this look that I would know means "Thank you so much, Melanie. For everything." He doesn't even have to say anything. I've also been cooking like crazy for him.
Grandma, I'll make sure, along with the rest of your loving family, that grandpa is well taken care of. I love you grammy. I...I'm gonna miss going birthday shopping with you. You always took me shopping on my birthday and let me randomly pick out stuff. I'm gonna miss your humor above all. I don't even want to think of what'll go through my mind when I'm in the hospital and grandpa walks in without you...Oh God.



I love you and miss you so much grandma. You will NEVER be forgotten, and you will always be beautiful to me. You were even beautiful when you were extremely sick. Only you can pull that off. Love you.
Again guys...thank you so much. I still can't believe the support you've provided for me and my family.
Love you all, so much.
Melanie M.